Toxicity in my Life

For most of us, we know that there are bad people in our life.  Those that just don’t value you as a person, those people that put you down time and time again.  One of the many things you can do in making your life easier and more tolerable, is to get rid of toxic people in your life.

For most of my life, there were many toxic people around me.  They made me suffer, and I let it happen.  Of course, some of it was when I was small and didn’t know any better, and couldn’t do anything about it.  But as I got older, I realized there was a problem with the people in my life and how they treated me.  For example, there was one person that made my life a living hell, and I suffered through it every day.  One day, she had enough, I had enough, and she kicked me out of the house.  She was free of me, and I was free of her.  Once I was gone out of that situation, it was like the world had been lifted from my shoulders.  Right then, I decided I was never going to let anyone else treat me like that again.  Of course, I couldn’t get away from it all at once.  But it was an important first step.  The next few years, I spent learning how to live a semi-normal life.  There was still someone that was toxic for me, but once again there was nothing I could do about it.  So I dealt with it for the time being, and resolved that once I was free, I was never going to feel that way again.

It’s very hard to identify when someone is harmful to you, especially when they are family.  But this is the most important step in getting towards a chaos-free life, no matter who it is.  For the longest time, I didn’t know it wasn’t normal to be constantly criticized and berated.  Once I kinda realized something was off, I did everything I could to combat it.  I tried fighting back in a respectful manner, but that doesn’t always work.  The situation I was in had me very stressed out all of the time.  And of course, life isn’t easy, so I was once again under the same roof as my abuser.  But I was stronger, and wiser this time.  I finally stood up for myself, for the most part, and wasn’t going to allow this monster to bring me down any longer.

When I was finally free from my horrid home life and on my own at college, I made a promise to myself that I would never be in that kind of position again. I no longer gave power to those that were trying to control me for the sake of controlling me.  I stopped being friends with those who used me, or acted like they were better than me.  That was very hard for me to do, as previously in my life I didn’t have friends at all.  It took a long time for me to learn that I needed to surround myself with people that value me.

Nowadays, I do not allow toxic people to permeate my life.  If my family gives me issues, I let them know respectfully, but sternly, that I do not have to deal with that anymore.  That part of my life is over.  I will only have friends and family in my life that respect me, and are good for my wellbeing.

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