A Friendship Gauge

Song: “Capsize” by Frenship

One night, I was sitting around trying to think of a tangible way to find out whether a person is a good friend, or has no potential to be a positive influence in my life.  For this test, rank the person in question from 1-10 in each category.  I have figured the person will need at least a 30.  This is not an inquiry of you.  It’s an internalized dialogue I have with myself.  This also only applies to me, and not necessarily to everyone else.  You can just substitute the most important qualities you value in a friend/partner.

Dependability: Can I count on you? Am I going to get shafted or will you be there for me as I will for you? Note: not in a literal sense, it’s more of a support thing

Interests/Hobbies: What are you into? Can I relate to you? Can we find common ground?

Music:  If you have shitty taste in music, we can’t be friends.  Period.  We don’t have to like the same things, but you better not put on country or bad rap.

Comfortability: How at ease am I with you? Can I be myself or do I feel like I am being judged?  Do we appreciate the same humor and morbidity?

Depth:  Are you a bland and dry person that no one can hold a conversation with? Life stories and lessons learned?  Can you have a deep two-hour conversation at midnight?  Has life dried you out or do you roll with the punches to let yourself exist without limits? Note: this is the most important quality, it superscedes all others.  If a person does not have much depth, I have a very hard time being friends with them.

For every person that I tried this on, it seemed to work.  The toxic people that have left my life got a low score.  My closest friends got up into the forties.

Good friend: 10/5/7/10/8 score-40/50

Bad friend: 2/7/6/4/5 score-24/50


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